Delirium

I went home early from work yesterday puking my guts out. After sleeping on the hallway floor just inches away from the toliet for several hours, I managed to pull myself into my bedroom where I drifted in and out of sleep. I spent a few hours in the foggy state...you know the stage where you trip and fall. AT one point I heard screaming all around me, shouting, running in the leaves. My mind raced...a massive game of tag? No, it's too late. World War III? Am I dreaming? Is this real? When I finally convinced my eyes to open, my bedroom was dancing with blue and red lights. The screams that I heard were real, only now could I tell that there were people running all over the yard outside...the leaves krinkling beneath every not-so-delicate step. There was crying, shouting, sirens blaring in the night.

I made my way carefully (as I did not want to puke anymore) to Tanya's room. "Tanya? What's going on?" "I don't know," she answered. Her sleep induced state had prevented her from even hearing the chaos outside. From her window we watched as firemen and policemen ran quickly around the street. Fire trucks and police cars were parked in every spot they could fit in. The kids from the street ran around yelling. There were some ladies crying. The building across the street was on fire. Smoke billowed from every opening. Four families watched as their lives went up in flames.

Strange how something so catistrophic can happen and yet the street be so serene the next morning. I walked to the car this morning as usual. Birds chirrping. Throwing my arm in the air in attempted waves at passing neighbors. Had I not seen for myself what had taken place the night before, I never would have known. I would have walked to my car in the brisk morning air oblivious to the boarded windows of the apartment building.

It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.
Frederick Douglass

God must read blogs

I think God read my last entry...we may have had tornados last night, but the temperature has dropped to the 30s and the wind is howling outside. As look at the weather forcast, the coldest day is supposed to be next Monday with a high of 28 degrees. What a great birthday present.

I have more to say, but my bed is beckoning me. I shall write later.

Holidays...ugh is all I have to say...ugh because the weather in St. Louis is the worst holiday weather EVER! It's November 23rd and 60 degrees outside! I want there to be snow on the ground, fires in the place, my cheeks frozen just walking the ten steps from the car to my front door. I want to have to grumble as I get up every morning 10 minutes earlier just to defrost my car. Tanya, who hails from South Dakota, and I were lamenting about this last night as we tried to get into the Christmas spirit. Impossible without the cold!

However, I do like the holidays. Thanksgiving is especially fun with my family. We always eat a big meal (called dinner where I'm from) mid-day. Play cards, during which my grandpa ALWAYS gets accused of cheating. Anyone who is brave enough to be on his team also gets multiple fingers pointed at them. That is usually me. Then we eat turkey sandwiches and ruffles potato chips, and lay around for a while! Of course, we manage to watch a little football, especially if the Huskers are playing. (however they haven't been good enough to get a Turkey day spot for a long time!)

The Friday after t-day is fun as we put our Christmas tree up, celebrate my upcoming birthday, and watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (a tradition started in the recent years by me) The birthday celebration is always an interesting one as my grandpa is usually in charge of the cake. We have this ongoing fight in our family...when making angel food cake, the men prefer to have pink frosting on it. The women prefer it plan. WHAT DO YOU THINK? One year, Grandpa asked me what kind of cake I wanted. I told him nothing with pink frosting. He made a cake, frosted it with chocolate frosting, but put a pink face with tears running down it's cheek on the top of it! I couldn't believe it! Ornery ole man, he is! Last year was a yellow cake with chocolate frosting (my favorite) and a pink blob of frosting right in the middle. Yes, Blob is the correct description.

So my prayer as I travel to small town Missouri is for colder weather (perhaps some snow), and a non-pink birthday cake. Oh, and maybe a Husker victory on Friday.

Nothing to say

People have been complaining that I haven't written anything on here for a while. The truth? I had so little to say that I almost forgot that I had a blog! Crazy, I know! I am now doing a temporary job in West County at a place with name of Fish...can you believe that?! In fact, I answer the phones....but I don't tell them my last name for fear of people thinking its one of those prank answers and hanging up. I'm sure my new boss would love that! So for now, I've joined the traffic jams on the highway and the life of keeping a time sheet. As much as I thought I would dread it, I really don't. The people are fun, the actual work is stuff I'm good at, and really the commute isn't the most horrible thing in the world (as long as you stay away fromthe bad spots).

So for now that is all I have to say. However, there is a poem below. (the darn program wouldn't let me format the poem the correct way) It looks prettier on paper.


earthquakes. tsunamis. hurricanes.
mountains are crumbling.
cities destroyed.
floodwaters rising.
houses flattened.
thousands of lives
gone.
Is the river still bringing joy?
OR is it raging it's wrath upon nations
forsaken
people bowing down before
money.
pride.
fame.
lust.
superficial satisfaction.
all they had to do was wade in that sweet water.
the river
strength.
security.
promise.
redemption.
forgiveness.
grace and mercy.
rest.
be still. be silent. rest in the waters. be renewed.