pain in the corners

My relationships and much of my personal life were put on hold this summer as I worked two jobs that kept me rather busy. As my summer finally winds down, I've found more time to connect with those I've been missing. Tonight, a dear friend from college and I had a delightful conversation. By delightful, I mean it was reassuring to hear her voice and, as always, she offered some insight into life's situations. We are both going through some tough stuff right now; in similar ways working through our own hurts and pain; seeing our brokenness and that in the lives of people nearest us. Experiencing the pains of growing older; facing the truth of reality; mourning what we see before us; trying to figure out where the Lord is in the midst of everything and what His sovereignty is really all about.

We are both discovering that pain hides in much deeper holes, divots, and corners in your soul than one would think. Just when I think I'm healed, something unlatches the door and pain that I didn't even know existed comes barreling out leaving me befuddled. What do you do with the unexpected hurt? Can one ever fully experience and heal from the depths of it that are hidden away?

I think I can speak for both my friend and I when I say that God really is sovereign. He knows and allows the pain. He even grieves with us. I wish I could grasp what that really means. I wish I could truly know His sovereignty; to understand the why He allows certain situations and feelings. What I do know is that no matter how hard it is to face those hidden corners in my soul, Jesus wants to reveal them to me and longs to hold me as I face them.

Somewhere in the midst of that simple fact is peace; peace enough to sustain a wounded soul, terrified, yet brave.