longing for the familiar of what once was

Do you ever find yourself longing for the familiarity of what once was? The bed you used to sleep in, the schedule of an old job, the friend you always ate cafeteria food with in college.

I'm in the middle of my fourth year in St. Louis and while I have friends that will dance with me, a job - or three - that I enjoy, and a home that brings me comfort, there are times when everything feels so foreign. Today was one of those.

I spent most of the day on the couch; the result of an eventful night, a terrible headache, and some sore muscles (no, there was no alcohol involved!). Amidst the throbbing I found myself thinking of a particular friend from the college days. Our first meeting was in an InterVarsity Bible Study. I was a table leader, and he was a freshman - as awkward as they come. However, he was a friendly awkward freshman.

Our friendship seems to have happened overnight as I can't recall much of how it happened. At some point, he grew into a mature leader with a passion for people, Christ, and justice.

I'm not certain why he made it to the front of my mind tonight, but I do know that I am left with a longing for the familiarity of him. To lose horribly at ping-pong against him, to absorb his political knowledge, to talk late into the night about God's heart for justice and the oppressed, dreaming big dreams about saving the world.

Maybe I was feverish this afternoon. Maybe I was just walking down memory lane. But really, dreaming of the familiar is what helps me walk through the unknown.