the proposal - an entry from my journal

i know many of you have been waiting to hear the proposal story.  i apologize for the delay; the last several weeks have been dizzily busy.  the words i post today are actually my journal entry from the night steve proposed.

november 20, 2011

it was hard to see through the tears; happy ones of course, but i could tell the ring was indeed shiny.  or maybe it was the tears that made it sparkle.  today was the day i got asked the question that i dreamed of for years...hoping for someone who would hold my hand through this crazy life.  someone who would laugh in the midst of chaos with me - for i picture a little bit of just that with a house full of kiddos.  speaking of kiddos, i've been searching for someone who will partner with me to redeem the idea of family and love for kids who otherwise would never know these.  you dream and search and cry and beg God for these things for years.  you hit the verge of giving up many times, but somehow find the strength to press on instead.  and in a small moment, it all can change.  at least it did for me.

we went for a walk in our favorite park today....rainy and 38 degrees.  we stopped along the path to enjoy new-to-us sculptures and animals that we thought we heard.  the path dumped us out into clearing which held a big grassy mound.  there was a steepness to this pile that prevented people from scurrying up its side.  the sculptor had planned it this way as there were also steps to take you to its top.  we climbed and i got ahead after feeling sure-footed at the top.  he told me not to get too far ahead so i turned around.  and just as he did the night we first held hands, he seized the moment, pulling me close.  he's always been really great about saying sweet, encouraging things and he did so just then.  he finished by saying "i'm going to make you my wife."  he has said this before, of course to reassure my own heart so i simply responded with "i know."  "no, really.  i'm going to make you my wife.  can i see your hand?"  and in another blip of a moment, he was on his knee, on the wet, muddy grass.  on the top of that small mountain, he offered to be my partner; to walk through this crazy life, to laugh in chaos, to love on kids, to change the world with me and asking me to love him for life.  then came the tears....

and somewhere in there, a pretty ring.

oh, and michael shelley was out in the woods...taking pictures.